On a recent trip to Ross, my first in many years, I had what can only be described as “an episode”. Not an episode of faintness, nor an episode of woe, but more a Twilight Zone episode of whoa!?
I spent two hours perusing the wall-to-wall racks of rock bottom prices. Amazon has had such a hold on me with their next day delivery and “affordable prices” that I had avoided Ross for the sake of convenience. Ross, your stuff was even cheaper than Amazon AND delivery is still same day via my reusable bag and car trunk.
The initial goal of the trip was new jeans for my expanding waistline—well, expanding “bottom line” to be brutally honest. I found several styles to try on—so many in fact that I had to start loading up a cart. You know the one—blue, way too small, with a long vertical pole. The Ross vertical pole cart, perhaps their most recognizable brand symbol, and definitely the most questioned purpose. Is the pole for impromptu striptease at the dressing rooms? Or is it an homage to the bumper cars of the 80’s—each cart reengergizing along a conductive grid on the ceiling? These carts really do have similarities to bumper cars, because if you’ve ever been to Ross on a Saturday, bumping into another cart is inevitable.
The aisles were fairly empty on this Monday afternoon. My first stop was in the underwear aisle. An older woman was shopping for undies too—we didn’t make eye contact initially being on two ends of the aisle. I was in my large section and she, to my left in medium when I pulled a pair off the rack to get a better look. Holy Moly, they were big! I wished I hadn’t brought attention to myself, holding the large sized granny panties in front of me as I got a better look…because, it caught my neighbor’s eye. No sooner had I put the “parachute” panties back on the rack than the sweet older lady to my left in medium asked that I hand them to her. She wanted them for her sister.
Dressing rooms came next—and although Ross offers the aforementioned blue cart with pole that you jam pack with bargains…dressing rooms only allow 8 items at a time. I was in complete fear of leaving my perfectly curated cart of fall wardrobe staples alone while trying things on. In that cart was the ONLY chartreuse peplum top in the entire store and I would have been damned if it went missing.
While in the dressing rooms, I learned the secret to Ross’ low overhead. That secret—foregoing flattering mirrors and lighting in the dressing rooms for fluorescent bulbs and funhouse mirrors. The floor of said dressing stall—a no frills prison cold industrial tile. Maybe the prison-like floor was a reminder (as was the sticker on the mirror) that shoplifting is a crime, and if you’re caught, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Seeing myself in the funhouse fluorescent atmosphere was a bigger crime than shoplifting if you ask me.
In the end, I took everything. New jeans, new undies, new pjs, new dresses—new me. The experience was glamorous! And although I was at Ross Dress for Less, I felt like Julia Robert’s on Rodeo drive. This was definitely a new perspective, stepping away from the computer and actually going shopping was refreshing and an adventure.